The Dangan Odyssey
by russianderpkitten
Summary: Celestia Ludenburg has to get her ass back to Ithaka, but the evil god Junko Enoshima won't allow her to return so easily. Enjoy this odd-version of that stupid book you're forced to read in school, the Odyssey. ( It's kind of rushed in explaining the war, will get more specific in later chapters.)


/_Hello everyone! Today, I present to you: The Dangan Odyssey. Yes, it is the Odyssey with the Dangan Ronpa characters. I'm reading it in school, and I wondered what it'd be like if it were with the Dangan Ronpa characters. I'm sorry if some of this is incorrect, our class skipped some stuff and briefly went over some others stuff. Also, it should be different since the characters are different (like to make it easier for myself I made it a party instead of a wedding) ! However, I hope you enjoy anyway! The characters are as follows, any other characters will be figured out later._

_Odysseus: Celestia Ludenburg (Because you know, they're both master liars.)_

_Penelope: Hifumi Yamada (Laughs)_

_Poseidon: Junko Enoshima_

_Cyclops guy whose name I forget: Mukuro Ikusaba_

_Zeus: Makoto Naegi (Because yes.)_

_Athena: Sonia Nevermind_

_Aphrodite: Hiyoko Saionji _

_Kirke: Nagito Komaeda_

_Kalypso: Mikan Tsumiki_

_Telemachus: Chihiro Fujisaki_

_Achilles: Mahiru Koizumi_

_Odysseus' father: Byakuya Togami_

_Odysseus' mother: Touko Fukawa_

_Eumaios: Kazuichi Souda._

_Menelaus: Mondo Oowada_

_Nestor: Kiyotaka Ishimaru_

_Guy who falls off the roof and dies: Teruteru Hanamura._

_Hermes: Hajime Hinata_

_Helen: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu._

_Paris: Peko Pekoyama._

_Eris: Gundam Tanaka_

_Hera: Sayaka Maizono_

* * *

It all started with the Trojan War. It all started with the bullshit from the gods. The gods thought that it's be a good idea to throw a party for no reason, since gods like to do stuff like that. What god doesn't party, right? Even Makoto, the god of all the gods, and also the god of hope and optimism, along with a bunch of other stuff, because he's cool, was there. Until that asshole Gundam showed up, the god of strife and discord, and also animals. He was such a freak, he had gray-ish silver streak in his hair. Yes, I know. It's a lot to take in. So Gundam showed up to this party, with this very beautiful, golden hamster, also known as the hamster of discord. Gundam threw this hamster onto the big table at the party.

"Whoever is the fairest shall get this hamster." Gundam announced, watching as Makoto stared at him since he was never even invited in the first place.

The hamster caught the eye of three goddesses; Hiyoko, Sonia, and Sayaka. Hiyoko reached out her hand towards the hamster, but her hand collided with the hands of Sonia and Sayaka. The three goddesses glared at each other, an awkward silence filled the room. Nobody dared to speak a word, because damn they were insane motherfuckers. Until Makoto decided to be stupid and interrupt their moment.

"Alright, girls. Let's just have Peko Pekoyama, the most beautiful woman in the world judge them." Makoto suggested, an innocent smile plastered on his face.

"Why have a woman judge us?" Hiyoko asked, tilting her head a little until her banana-like pigtails stabbed her in the arm.

"Because, women are best at judging the crap out of each other."

"… Well said." Hiyoko responded, the other two goddesses nodding in agreement.

"Alright, I'll send Hajime-kun over to Peko, and we'll have her decide." Makoto said, and he motioned Hajime over. Hajime sighed, and within minutes, left to visit Peko in Troy.

When Hajime arrived in Troy, he automatically found the beautiful Peko. Hajime approached Peko awkwardly, not because she was beautiful, but because Hajime knew this entire thing was bullshit. What? He wasn't wrong. Hajime tapped the princess of Troy, and she automatically reacted, almost pulling out of sword.

"No, no wait! I'm Hajime, the god, and uh, the gods need you to get involved in our bullshi- I mean, we need you to judge who's the fairest among three of our goddesses. Will you do it?" Hajime asked, his ahoge sticking up on a ninety-degree angle.

"I suppose it wouldn't hurt." Peko replied, putting her sword back into its case.

So Hajime and Peko returned to the party, and Hiyoko, Sonia, and Sayaka were thrilled. The three goddesses immediately began bribing her with things they could offer her.

"I can give you all the money in the entire world." Sonia offered, confident that her bribe would capture the princess' interest. Unfortunately for the white-haired goddess, Peko was not impressed.

"Thank you, but I'm a princess. I have all the money I need in life." Peko said, leaving her for the next goddess.

"I can give you all the power you want, and I can make you famous!" Sayaka said, smiling stupidly at her.

"Uh, again, I'm both of those things." Peko responded, nodding politely before making her way towards the last goddess, Hiyoko.

"Hi! I can make the most beautiful man in the world fall in love with you!" Hiyoko offered, childishly jumping up in the air.

"Deal." Peko agreed, shaking hands with the blonde.

* * *

So Peko declared Hiyoko as the fairest of them all, and Hiyoko received the beautiful, golden hamster. As promised, the blonde goddess made the most beautiful man in existence fall in love with Peko: Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu. Even though he was already married to another man, Mondo. But nothing mattered, since the gods like to fuck everyone over.

So then, Peko basically kidnapped Fuyuhiko and brought him to Troy. Mondo was outraged, and after a bunch of shit, war broke out between Troy and Sparta. Why is this stuff important? Because our protagonist was sucked into this mess. The queen of Ithaka, Celestia Ludenburg fought in the battle against Troy. The smart woman planned an attack strategy, the Justice Robot, where they all hid inside the robot, and the other soldiers pretended to leave. The idiotic Trojans brought the robot in, and they all jumped out and destroyed the city, winning the war. All thanks to Celestia being a smartass.

It's been ten years since the war has ended, and now our 'heroine' still has not returned home. The ravenette has been held captive in Ogygia, also known as the island owned by a psychotic bitch nymph named Mikan Tsumiki.

* * *

Celestia sat by the shore of the island, staring out at the vast, cerulean waters of the ocean. Somewhere, past that horizon was her home of Ithaka, which contained her husband Hifumi, who although could be annoying, was loving, obedient, and nerdy, which were qualities that she loved, and no matter how many times she lied to herself about it, she knew it was true. Along with Hifumi were her parents, Byakuya and Touko, who most likely longed for her return, and her son/daughter/transgender/other Chihiro, who she only got to see as a baby, and was twenty-years old by now.

"Will I ever make it back home?" Celestia whispered to herself overdramatically.

"…_.Yes. Have hope." _


End file.
